How Did We Get Here?
by forkthisshirt
Summary: As Sofia aged, her parents rekindled their love. Now 10 years later, Sofia is 17 and in trouble. Sofia blames her parents, their demanding jobs leave her to fend for herself. Can Callie and Arizona steer their child on the right path or will this be the end for the Torres-Robbins family? Disclaimer: This is a story. This is not an accurate description of mental health issues. Ok?
1. Chapter 1

"Sofia?" Arizona tried to grab her daughter's attention, "Sofia! No phones at the dinner table." Unwillingly, the teen took her eyes off the glowing screen and stared at her mother with a look that could kill. "Now, Sofia". She obliged and slid the phone on to her lap. This was the only time Sofia would see her Mom this week, it was the perfect time to ask. Half of her wanted the real answer and the other half wanted to make her Mom uncomfortable as revenge for the no phones rule.

"Is it true that Mama screwed the doctor who killed Uncle Derek?" Sofia's face remained emotionless as she waited for a reply. She had heard her Moms arguing about it last night. Arizona stopped eating, unsure of how to reply. "Your Mama's past relationships are none of your business and we don't talk about them, especially not at dinner." She dodged the question, Sofia knew her Mom's tactics and she knew how to beat them. "Is that why we don't talk about my dad? Or is it because it reminds you that I'm not your kid?" Sofia's words filled the air but received no reply, Arizona didn't even look up. The slience felt like it would never stop.

The familiar ring of Arizona's phone broke the tension. She reached into her pocket and accepted the call, ignoring the snarky comment from Sofia about the no phones rule. The voice on the other end of the line sounded serious. "Hello Dr Robbins, I'm Mr Peters, the principal of West Seattle High School." Arizona knew her daughter and she knew this wouldn't be a call saying Sofia was on the honour roll. "How can I help you Mr Peters?"

Sofia was sat at the dining room table. Tapping her foot nervously, she knew what was coming. The worst thing was her Mom finding out, she had hid it so well. "Sofia, kitchen. Now. We need to talk." The sound hit Sofia's ears like knives. This was it.

"Really? Really? I can't believe you!" The rage boiled inside her, "It is one thing skipping school, but drugs! You can't go to class high, you can't go anywhere high! You shouldn't be high! What is wrong with you?" Arizona waited for an answer, she prayed this was a case of mistaken identity or a prank or anything except reality. "It isn't a big deal." This flippant comment angred Arizona further. "No big deal? Sure, it's no big deal. You are excluded and you have a criminal record but it's not a big deal! How are you so stupid?"

"I don't have to take this shit from you. You're not my parent!" Sofia stormed out the kitchen. Arizona was too mad to follow her. 'How did this happen?' she thought to herself. Her mind spiralled into images of Sofia ruining her own life, a homeless addict, that's her future. The bang of the front door snapped Arizona back into reality. It took her milliseconds to realise what that bang meant, she ran and opened the front door. Sofia was already gone into the night.


	2. Chapter 2

_'She's dead.'_ It had been two hours and that's all Arizona could think, _'She's dead and it's my fault.'_ The words echoed in her head. Pacing the kitchen, she rang Sofia repeatedly. Each call going unanswered, for once Arizona wished her daughter would look at her phone.

As the clock struck 11pm there was only one option left before she called the police. Call Callie. _'She'll never trust me again, I lost our fucking kid!'_ Arizona's fingers hesitated over the dial button, just for a moment, just to give Sofia a chance to walk through the door.

Tears fell down her face at the thought of telling Callie. All the anger Arizona felt had subsided, pushed out the way by pure sadness. She would give anything for Sofia to be safe.

"Dr Torres, you have a call." A nurse stood at the door of Callie's office. Callie shook her head, she didn't have time for this, not today. She had promised Sofia she would be home by 1am and at this rate she would have to break that promise. "I don't have time, can't you see I'm busy." She signalled to the nurse to leave the room. "It is Dr Robbins, it's about Sofia." The nurse held out the phone, Callie snatched it from her hand and shooed her away.

"Arizona, you there?" There was no reply from her wife, "Arizona is everything okay?" Again there was no reply, just a faint sound of her wife's breath. "Arizo.." Callie was interupted by Arizona sobbing. "I..I lost her," She stuttered "She left, we got in a fight and she left. That was 3 hours ago, what if she's dead?" Callie was in shock, she just stood listening, but she couldn't get emotional not until Sofia was home. "Arizona, I will be there in 30 minutes, we will find her. I promise."

They had been driving for hours, it felt like they had looked everywhere, they had looked everywhere. "Are you going to tell me what this arguement was about?" Callie put her hand on Arizona's leg. "Cal, I can't tell you, it would just make you worried." Even this made Callie more worried. "I think we should go home and call the police." Arizona nodded.

Pulling up in the driveway, the headlights illuminated a figure sat on the porch. It was Sofia. Arizona jumped out the car before it had even stopped, "Sofia! Where the hell were you?" Callie parked the car and stood next to her wife. Sofia stood up to greet them stumbling towards them. "Heyyyy, look it's my Moms!" She slurred her words and grinned incessantly.

The smell of alcohol was so potent it couldn't be ignored. "Are you fucking drunk?" Arizona's anger returned, "We were out worried sick and you were getting drunk? How dare you!" Callie laid her hand on Arizona's shoulder, "Zona, can you go inside, I think me and Sofia need to talk." Her wife turned to Callie, "Fine but you should know, our daughter is a drug addict, I will see you inside."

"Sofia, is what your Mom said true?" Callie held on to her daughter, steadying her. Sofia laughed "She's not my Mom." "Sofia". "You proud Mama? Of your little girl? Are you proud of the mess I've become?" With each word Sofia's voice became louder, more aggressive. She pulled away from her Mama, and began to sob. Callie sighed, "Let's get you to bed , we can talk about this tomorrow."


	3. Chapter 3

Callie and Arizona sat at the table in slience. Neither women knew what to say, this was not a conversation they thought they would have to have. Arizona had woke up hoping the events of yesterday were a dream. Callie hadn't slept, she had spent the night researching schools that would take Sofia.

"How did we get here?" There was a tone of exasperation in Callie's voice. "I don't know. This is our fault, we let work come first." Arizona took Callie's hand but Callie shook her off. "I never put work first, don't blame this on me," Callie argued "I am always at home with her, and we are fine. I leave you with her for one night and she runs away!" Maybe it was the sleep deprivation but Callie had never been so mad at Arizona.

"Don't blame our daughter being a screw up on me!" Arizona stood up in rage. Before she could continue, the pair were interrupted, "Can you guys stop yelling, and calling me a screw up, I am kind of hungover right now." Sofia walked past the dining table and towards the kitchen, as she passed her Moms, Arizona grabbed her arm. "Sofia, sit down. We need to talk."

Sofia turned, she said nothing but the look on her face said it all. The drugs weren't Sofia's problem, to her, they were the solution. Her parents were never around, they were too busy to care. Or they were dead. Sofia looked at the woman in front of her. Piercing blue eyes, golden blonde hair. Nothing like Sofia, because Arizona wasn't her family. Mark was but he was dead.

"Sofia, sit down." Callie demanded, "Both of you sit down." Arizona let go of Sofia's arm and sat back in her seat, Callie grabbed Arizona's hand. "I'm not doing this." Sofia sighed. "Where are you going to go?" Arizona snapped back harshly, "Are you going to go get drunk again? Or high? Take an overdose? End up dead in a gutter?"

Even though Arizona wasn't Sofia Mom, she couldn't see her like this. Sofia flopped onto the chair opposite her Mama. "Fine, go on, lecture me. Let's get this over with." Sofia couldn't look up from her feet, she couldn't face the people she had hurt.

"We don't want to lecture you, we want to help you." Callie looked at Arizona, who nodded her head in agreement. "We care, Sofia." Arizona looked back to Sofia, "So this has to stop."

"No drinking, no staying out late, no disrespecting us and definitely no drugs." Callie's face was emotionless and stern. "Ok, fine. I don't do drugs anyway, the principal lied about that." Sofia lied, she couldn't give up the one thing that kept her alive. However, her Moms didn't believe a word of this, they knew better. "So if we searched through your things we wouldn't find anything?" Callie challenged her daughter, she wanted to believe her but she couldn't.

"You think I am lying, look for yourself." Sofia hoped that her Mama wouldn't find her stash as Callie walked upstairs and left her with Arizona. The pair sat in slience at the dinner table, just like the night before. The slience felt like it would never stop. Sofia rested her head on the table, Arizona didn't know what to say. No one tells you what to say in situations like this.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Callie made Sofia jump. She stormed down the stairs and slammed a baggy onto the table. Sofia stuttered, she needed to explain her way out of this but she couldn't. Callie was too mad to hear Sofia attempt an explanation. "You don't say anything, because right now everything that comes out your mouth is bullshit."

Arizona had tuned out the shouting that was going on in the room. All she could do was look at the baggy. It was Oxy. _'Was this how Amelia's family felt? Her poor mother.'_ At least Amelia would know how to deal with this. At that moment Arizona knew what to do.

"Sofia, you don't leave this house. You're grounded go to your room." Arizona talked to Sofia with the same tone she used on her interns. Just like her interns, Sofia did as she was told.

"Arizona, I can't do this." Callie's hard demeanor broke, Callie broke. Arizona hugged her wife as tightly as possible, she shushed her gently. She wanted to break down too, but she couldn't, she had to stay strong for her family.

"Callie, we can't do this alone. We don't know anything about this stuff." Arizona tried to keep all emotion out of her voice. "She doesn't listen to us, she just thinks are being mean." Callie pulled away from her wife, "What do we do? Zona, tell me what we have to do because I don't know." Callie felt out of control, tears streaming down her face.

"We should ask Amelia," Arizona watched as Callie's face scrunched in confusion, "to talk to Sofia. Amelia's been there,teenage tearway,she knows."

"So our solution is to ask an ex-junkie to talk to our daughter, really?" Callie laughed at the idea. Arizona became agitated at this outright dismissal, "Well, do you have a better idea. Us crying feeling sorry for ourselves isn't going to help." Callie knew her wife was right, she sighed "I know, call her."


	4. Chapter 4 (TW)

"What's taking her so long?" Callie paced through the kitchen. Arizona watched her wife, the women she loved. She had never seen Callie like this, she looked erratic almost crazy. "Cal, calm down. Sofia isn't in any danger, she's fine." Arizona tried to reassure Callie but she was just as scared. Both of them were unable to think of anything else to say, but somehow the slience was comforting.

The only sound more comforting was the knocking at the door. Callie, who had never stopped pacing, charged to the door. As she opened the door she saw Amelia staring back at her. Callie was once again rendered speechless, _'Hi, come in, thank you for using your special ex-junkie powers to fix our daughter.'_ didn't sound right but Callie couldn't come up with anything better, so she stayed quiet.

"Amelia, thank you so much for coming." Arizona walked up behind Callie, "Come in!" She put on her happy face. Amelia squeezed past Callie, who seemed to be in a catatonic state. "Callie!" Arizona grabbed Callie's arm and tugged, this was enough to snap her back to reality.

Callie shut the door and led Amelia to the dining table.

"This is Oxy," Amelia said bluntly, holding the baggy up to her face. "it's what I was on. Can you take this, please?" Amelia gestured the baggy towards Arizona. "What should we do with it?" Arizona took the baggy and turned to Callie "Should we flush it?" Callie nodded, confidently, like she knew the answer the question.

Before Amelia could answer anymore questions, Arizona's pager started beeping. "Oh great, a 911, that's just what I need today!" Callie's pager joined in the chorus, "Oh god me too." Amelia knew she could handle this, "You guys go, I've got this!"

"Are you sure?" Arizona asked as she grabbed her purse. "I am sure, both of you out. You have lives to safe!" Amelia followed Callie and Arizona to the door. "Sofia's in her bedroom, check on her okay?" Callie shouted out the window of the car as Arizona drove them away.

 _'I've got this, I can do this, I've got this!'_ Amelia repeated this mantra in her head as she walked past the Oxy, which was still on the dining room table, and climbed the stairs. As she arrived at Sofia's bedroom, Amelia felt that something was wrong. It was like a sixth sense.

"Hey, Sofia. It's Amelia. Can I.. Can I come in?" She tripped on her words. _'I don't have this, I can't do this, I don't have this!'_ Her new mantra repeated in her head, she couldn't stop it. She was about to walk into a room that may have well contained her as a teenager. _'There are so may similarities: Drugs, drinking, dead dad...'_ Amelia listed as she opened Sofia's door, _'...being dead on the floor of the bedroom.'_

 _*Tick, tock. Tick, tock.*_ The sound of the clock almost mocked Amelia as she stood there helpless. Every tick, every tock, a second she was wasting. Each breath, painful. Hands, shaking. Brain, not thinking. "Oh" Amelia didn't know what to say, she didn't know what to do.

This shock seemed to go on for an impossible amount of time. Somehow to Amelia, it lasted both milliseconds and years, but it couldn't last forever. "Sofia,can you hear me?" Amelia's doctor instincts kicked in as she rushed to crouch at the girl's side. She put her ear to Sofia's mouth. She heard breathing.

"What the fuck?" Sofia's sudden rise from the dead made Amelia yelp. "Oh my god, I thought you were dead!" Amelia sat back against the wall as she breathed a sigh of relief. The girl let out a chuckle at the woman's expense. "What? Why?" Sofia laughed and sat up to look at Amelia. "Why were you laying on the floor?" Amelia was still trying to catch her breath from the fear.

Sofia looked at Amelia puzzled, "Why are you in my bedroom? Where's my Moms?"

"They... erm.. had to go to work. So they asked me to come watch you." It wasn't a complete lie, it also wasn't a complete truth. "Figures." Sofia wasn't surprised they left her, they always do. "Why do I need someone to watch me, they never bother with that normally?"

"Probably because they were scared you would overdose, you know because you are addicted to Oxy." Subtlety had never been Amelia's strong suit. "Calling in the ex-junkie to talk to the current junkie. Smart." Sofia didn't have patience for this, her parents were too bothered with helping strangers to care for their own daughter.

"Sofia, what are you doing?" Amelia shuffled towards Sofia, she looked in her eyes. The pools of light blue made Amelia's mind flash back to Mark, to her Sofia was family. "I don't know.. I just can't do this anymore." This was the first time Sofia was honest about this.

"Do what, Sofia?" Amelia knew the answer but she had to ask. "Live, it is just a lot. It's a lot." Sofia started to cry, she didn't really know why, but the tears wouldn't stop. She lifted her hand to wipe away the tears. This caused her sleeve to slip down.

 _'Fuck'_ Amelia looked at the girl's arm, the crimson read lines peeking out of her sleeve. "Sofia, the hell are these?" Amelia's face grew harsh and mean as she grabbed Sofia's arm. "Did you do this? What the fuck is wrong with you?" Amelia shouted, "How could you do this?" For some reason this seemed worse than drugs. There was no high only harm. It was a pain that Amelia couldn't understand, so she left.

The only person who seemed to care about Sofia had just walked out on her. Sofia couldn't make sense of it but she had an idea and suddenly she felt relief. Sofia was calm. The tears stopped. The pain stopped. A smile cautiously appeared on her face, the first real one in years.

Sofia stood up. Walked into the bathroom. Locked the door behind her. Took out a razor and slashed her wrists. She slashed. As she leaned against the bathtub and slashed. She smiled and slashed. This wasn't just cutting, this was different. This was it. The blood pored. She couldn't see her arm anymore, her vision faded, her arm was red, but she kept slashing. She only stopped as she dropped to the floor. The smile cleared her face and was replaced by a look of gormlessness, a look of emptiness, a sense of regret.

 _little note from me: I am sorry if this hit you personally someway. I am sorry you have to go through that. If for some reason you think you would be better off dead, think again. Hang on for 24 hours. Then hang on for another 24. People care, I promise!_


	5. Chapter 5

_'What the hell.'_ Amelia sat in her car pondering whether to drive away or go back inside. She wasn't mad, how could she be mad. How could she be anything but deverstated? The image of Sofia slicing her own arms played in Amelia's mind. _'What the hell.'_ How could she just leave Sofia like that?

She stared at the house, thinking. She needed to go back in, but she was embarrassed. It wasn't like Amelia to freak out on someone like that. It wasn't normal, none of this was.

Amelia took a deep breath and turned the engine off. _'I can do this, I am a superhero.'_ This was what Amelia normally told herself before a tough surgery but it seem appropriate here to.

"Sofia, I am sorry. I shouldn't have freaked out, Sofia?" As Amelia shut the front door behind her, she got that feeling again. An unsettling, unnerving feeling. "Sofia?" Her voice cracked as she slowly made her way up the stairs. "Sofia? Please, I am sorry." She leaned against the wall outside the girl's bedroom. She knew she wouldn't be wanted inside.

Amelia's sixth sense feeling grew stronger. Each time she called Sofia's name with no reply, it got stronger. "You know what, I am sorry I got angry but I am not going to stand here and talk to your door" Amelia put her hand on the door knob, she swung the door open. "Sofia?" The room was empty. "Sofia?"

The adrenaline kicked in. Amelia rushed between rooms, in each one there was no sign of Sofia. Then came the bathroom door but it wouldn't open. "Sofia? Are you okay?" Amelia waited for any reply, a snarky comment, a muffled sniffle, the shuffle of Sofia's feet. Silence. "Sofia?" Amelia slammed on the door. Maybe she was asleep, maybe she was dead.

Amelia spied the crack under the door, she dropped to the floor. Through the small slit she saw a figure, collapsed on the floor. She saw red, a pool of red. "SOFIA?" The doctor had never yelled so hard in her life. She leaped up from the floor and stood back from the door.

Without even thinking, Amelia flung herself at the locked door. Although she wasn't strong or heavy, the door opened. What it revealed never left Amelia's mind, not for years.

A pool of blood, an inhumanly pale body, a razor still in the body's hand and Sofia's face on the body. Amelia couldn't bring her mind to accept that that pale body was Sofia. Without moving out of the doorway, Amelia took her phone out of her pocket and dialled '911'.

"I need help, I need an ambulance." Her voice was emotionless as she explained the scene in front of her to the dispatcher. Her face remained emotionless as she watched the paramedics lift Sofia off the tiles and onto a stretcher. She felt emotionless as she sat in the back of the ambulance. All she could think about was the girl's parents, Arizona, Callie... and Mark.


	6. Chapter 6

"17 year old female, self-inflicted lacerations to right arm. 15mg of morphine given. She's lost a lot of blood." These words from the paramedic snapped Amelia back to reality, snapped her back to the horror that was today.

She turned and looked out the doors of the ambulance. Dr Grey and Dr Kepner staring back at her. A shared look of confusion on their faces. "Amelia, why are you.." Meredith questioned before looking down and seeing Sofia "Oh..".

"Sofia? Sofia? Can you hear me?" Grey got no response, not even a twitch as they rolled her in to the ER, Amelia following behind. "Someone page Robbins and Torres. Now!" April screamed across the ER.

"What happened? Amelia?" Meredith held her by the shoulders. Amelia looked forward, she looked through Meredith, a 1000 yard stare. "It's my fault, It's my fault. I left her, Meredith." Amelia broke. All she could do was see that body, lying on the floor, the red of the blood stained her mind.

Amelia sat in the waiting room, she didn't know how to face Callie and Arizona. Her foot tapped, her mind raced but time seemed to slow. Every second lasting longer than the last. She thought about leaving again, _'She has her Mom's, she's not alone this time.'_. Amelia grabbed her bag and stood up.

"AMELIA!" She was stopped in her tracks. Turning around she saw the yell came from Arizona. Her heart pounding, she waited for Arizona to catch up to her. "I am sorry, I am so so sorry." Tears weld in Amelia's eyes as she pleaded. Unexpectedly, Arizona wrapped her arms around Amelia. "You saved her life! Thank you."

Callie watched over Sofia. She looked like a child again, so weak, so helpless. This was one thing Callie couldn't help her with, she had to wake up on her own. The doctor's had done everything they could do, it was a waiting game now.

"How's she doing?" Arizona came in to Sofia's room, her voice still had a cheery tone. "What is wrong with you?" Callie's voice cracked, it was harsh, angry. "Our daughter tried to kill herself, and you sound happy! She slit her wrists and you walk in here smiling!" Callie turned her back on Sofia and stared Arizona down.

"What do you want me to do? Sit here and cry. That's going to help!" Arizona's smile broke. The yelling continued.

Then a cough, a small, faint cough came from Sofia and it all stopped. "Sofia?" Callie rushed to the bedside as Arizona alerted the nurse outside. "Sofia, can you hear me?" Sofia coughed again, this time it was stronger and accompanied by a slight movement.

Arizona ran back in the room just as Sofia's eyes opened. "Fu..Fuck." Sofia spultered. Both Callie and Arizona started laughing, then the laughter turned into crying. Arizona rested her head on the hospital bed, "Why Sofia? Why?"


	7. Chapter 7

Sofia looked at the eyes glaring back at her. How can you explain emotions you don't understand yourself? "I..I." Sofia tried think of a word to come next, but it seemed like an impossible task.

"Sofia?" Callie had pity in her eyes. She grabbed Sofia's hand, brushing up against the bandages covering Sofia's wrist.

"I.. I am sorry." Tears weld in Sofia's eyes and tumbled down her face. Her sobs were muffled, as Arizona held Sofia in her arms. "Don't be sorry." Callie stroked her daughters hand.

The moment was interrupted by Meredith entering the room with Sofia's file in hand. "Sorry, for interrupting." Anxiousness obvious in her voice, as a mother herself, she understood the pain of the situation. "We need to discuss Sofia's treatment options. Obviously due to the cause of the injury, we will have to implement a 72 hour hold." Meredith tried to remain professional.

"You don't have to do that." Arizona turned to face Dr Grey, "She doesn't need to be sectioned." Meredith gestured for Arizona to step outside.

As the door to Sofia's hospital room closed, Meredith's face grew dour. "She tried to kill herself, she needs help." Meredith knew Arizona wouldn't like what she was saying but she needed to hear it. "She isn't crazy, she is just having a hard time." Arizona didn't know if she was trying to convince Meredith or herself.

"Those cuts weren't the only ones, there were signs of self-mutilation. She isn't emotionally stable, she is a danger to herself, Arizona." Arizona had been shaking her head at Meredith's explaination, unable to accept what she was saying.

Their discussion was interrupted by Callie's shouting "She's unconscious, and.. and not breathing." There was an overtone of panic in her voice. Meredith and Arizona rushed back into the room, followed by a herd of doctors including April. "Arizona, Callie. You need to leave." April shouted over the madness, but neither moved an inch. "You can't doctors right now, not to her." Kepner continued as she pushed the pair out the room, closing the door behind them.

"I don't know what happened! She was stable." Meredith stuttered as she watched the choas surrounding her. "She has respiratory depression, start ventilation," April yelled over Meredith, ignoring her, "You, endotracheal tube, NOW."

Arizona and Callie could barely watch as a tube was forced down their child's throat. Unable to stand the sight, they left to join Amelia in the waiting room.

As Amelia saw the pair enter the room sobbing, her heart started to pound. _'Holy shit, she's dead'_ she stood, preparing to be screamed at by one of them. "What.. what happened?" Amelia looked back and forth between Arizona and Callie, waiting for a reply. "She stopped breathing, why.. why did she stop?" Arizona buried her head into Callie, muffling her own cries.

Amelia's heartrate grew faster, she knew why, and she knew the danger Sofia was in. She ran past Callie and Arizona. Past the nurses station and down the corridor, knocking people as she passed.

Amelia bust into Sofia's room. Panting she tried to explain herself, "No morphine." The doctor's puzzled faces turned to her. "She's taken Oxy, I don't know how much." Meredith's face dropped. Her eyes widened as she realised what was happening, "We caused an overdose." She stared at the IV bag still dripping into Sofia. "Remove the IV! We are killing her."

"Well, that's what she wanted." Sniggered a nurse from the back of the room. Amelia turned, shooting daggers at the offending nurse. She stormed up to her and without giving it a second thought, she drove her fist into the women's face.

"Amelia!" Grey yelled, grabbing Amelia. She dragged her backwards and out of the room. In the corridor, she pinned Amelia to the wall, holding her shoulders. "Amelia, you can't do that." Meredith tried to calm Amelia down. "That bitch," Amelia was riddled with anger "Sofia is dying and she is making jokes."

"I don't care, you can't punch your co-workers, Amelia" Meredith agreed with Amelia, but she couldn't let her know that. "Don't tell me what I can and can't do." Amelia shoved Meredith away and stormed off. "Amelia!" Meredith yelled after her, but Amelia was too angry to talk to anyone right now. She had to get out of here.

"Amelia! Amelia!" Arizona shouted at her as she stormed through the waiting area. To her surprise, Amelia stopped in her tracks. "This is your fault," Amelia pushed Arizona, "you abandoned her. You're too busy saving people to look after your own daughter. It should have been you finding her in that bathroom, not me!" Before Callie or Arizona could defend themselves, Amelia had turned and charged out the hospital. Callie and Arizona watched, speechless.


	8. Chapter 8

_'Choking, holy shit, I'm choking'_

Sofia's heart pounded, she couldn't breathe. The faint sound of chatter and the beeping of a machine, that's all Sofia could hear. Last thing she could remember was waking up this morning, but after that nothing.

The chatter grew louder, more like shouting, it was getting closer. The more she panicked, the more frequent the beeping became. She felt hands on her face, on her arms. Somehow they were both strong but comforting, as they moved her about like doll. "She's breathing over the tube, take it out." The voice seemed familiar, but Sofia couldn't place it. The choking sensation stopped soon after. "Sofia, can you hear me?" The voice was close, she could feel it's breath on her skin, Sofia flinched.

"Sofia, can you open your eyes for me?" The voice continued, it seemed calmer now. Sofia strained her eyes, trying to open them. As they opened, light flooded in. It was bright, unatural. In front of her Sofia could make out a figure, a face. "Very good, Sofia!" The voice matched the movements of the face. Suddenly, Sofia's mind clicked. The face, Meredith, the voice, Meredith.

Although it was comforting to see her Aunties face, it wasn't the one she wanted to see. She wanted her Moms. "Moms" Sofia felt like she was shouting, it came out like a whisper. Meredith smiled, "I will get them for you, Sofia. Don't worry." She left the room, leaving Sofia with only strangers. Sofia closed her eyes, it was too hard to open them, and there was no one in the room she wanted to see.

"Hey Sofia," Arizona stroked Sofia's hair, waking her up, "don't worry. We're here now." A hand grabbed Sofia's arm, opening her eyes she saw it was Callie. A weary smile appeared on Sofia's face, finally, they were there for her.

Out the corner of Sofia's eye, she saw April and Meredith standing in the corner. They looked worried, on edge. April cleared her throat, grabbing everyone's attention, "We are going to have to move her to the... Erm the Pysch ward soon." She stuttered, uncertainty clear in her voice. By this point Callie and Arizona had accepted this fact, but Sofia hadn't.

Still unable to remember the last 6 hours, Sofia was confused. She looked at her parents as they moved away from her, allowing April and Meredith to walk either side of her bed. "What? What's happening?" Sofia's voice bordered on screaming, "You're locking me up? What, why?" Sofia became hysterical as the doctors grabbed her arms. She felt like her life was on the line, so she fought.

Sofia struggled in the doctors arms, trying to set herself free. "Sofia, calm down!" Arizona and Callie pleaded with her from the corner of the room. Sofia didn't listen. She couldn't hear them over the sound of her own laboured grunts. She felt weak. Powerless.

April and Meredith were winning. As Sofia started to give up, they took the opportunity to restrain her. "Sofia, I am sorry but you are being uncooperative. We have had to put your arms and legs in restraints." Meredith tried to explain calmly, a twinge of sadness seeped into her words.

Meredith positioned herself behind Sofia's bed and began to push her out the room. As Sofia passed her Mom and Mama she turned away, unable to face them. April gave a comforting hug to Arizona before following Sofia and Meredith down the hallway.

Sofia sobbed to herself as she was pushed into the elevator. She turned, as much as the restraints would let her, and was greeted by Kepner staring back at her. "April," Her voice croaked "tell me what happened, I.. I can't remember." April looked towards Meredith, unsure of how to answer Sofia. Meredith nodded, signalling to tell her the truth.

April softly held Sofia's hand, comforting her. "You tried to commit suicide, Amelia found you. We have to put you on a 72 hour hold, Sofia." Sofia rotated her head, now focused on the elevator doors. The memories came flooding back, the shouting, the crying, the blood. Sofia gulped. As the doors slid open, Sofia closed her eyes, unable to face the next 72 hours.


	9. Chapter 9

"Sofia Torres-Robbins, 17 years old. Admitted for a suicide attempt, currently restrained due to uncooperative behaviour. 72 hour hold procedure implemented." Meredith robotically relayed the information to the pysch attending. All the while, April gazed at Sofia trying to work out how the tiny baby she had seen be delivered had ended up here.

Before Sofia could be pushed away by the nurses, April crouched down next to her. "You need to do what they tell you, not just for you but for your moms, for us, for your dad. Okay?" April tried to hold back the tears as she hugged Sofia goodbye.

"Hi Sofia, I'm Dr Charles but you can call me Peyton." A young women smiled back at her, "Before we can take you into the ward I need to ask you a few questions."

Sofia hated the cheery tone of the women's voice. She could see why her Mama called the psych doctors quacks. The thought made Sofia chuckle to herself. Dr Charles glared at Sofia. _'Oh god, now I look crazy.'_ This is the last place on earth you want to look crazy. Sofia felt crazy, she was tied up, locked away, abandoned.

Her eyes began to produce droplets, which dripped down her cheeks. Helpless to wipe them away, she turned to Dr Charles. "Can I have a tissue?" Sofia whimpered. "Why?" The doctor asked. Sofia was speechless, it was obvious, everything she did was put under a microscope.

Before Sofia could start ranting there was a knock at the door. Like a saviour, Amelia stepped into the room. "Amy!" Sofia screeched. Dr Charles looked angrly at the visitor, "No visitors, Dr Shepherd. Please leave my patient in peace."

"I think you mean my patient, for now anyway." Amelia passed a document to Peyton. "Going to do a full neuro work up, if you have a problem with it see the chief. Now, can you please leave my patient in peace?" With out saying another word Dr Charles marched out the room shutting the door behind her.

"Are.. are you in restrains?" Amelia rushed to Sofia's bedside and undid the straps. "Who the hell did that? What did you do?" Amelia demanded, her voice seem harsh, angry. "Meredith and April. I tried to fight them, I let them win." Sofia finally wiped her eyes and grinned at Amelia. "Sure you did Sof, sure you did." Amelia ruffled Sofia's hair, her voice softened.

"I am sorry, sorry you had to find me." Sofia stared at her hands unable to look Amelia in the eyes. Amelia sat on Sofias bed, forcing eye contact. "Why, Sofia? Why did you do that?"


	10. Chapter 10

"Why, Sofia? Why did you do that?" Amelia tried to stay emotionless. The last thing this girl need was someone else having a breakdown. "Sofia?"

"I am crazy," Sofia started to sob, "why else would they lock me up, why would Meredith tie me up? Healthy people don't slit their wrists."

Amelia chuckled and took Sofia's face in her hands, "You aren't crazy, I promise! People call me crazy all the time, Mer calls me crazy all the time! She is just a poor judge of character."

A smile appeared on Sofia's face, "I agree with Mer, you are crazy, but you are also great. You saved me from that quack of a doctor! Why am I your patient anyway?"

Amelia stood up with a guilty look on her face. "I may have slightly attacked your mom, both physically and verbally. So in a gesture of goodwill, I am going to save you from the mad house."

"You what?" Sofia didn't know whether to laugh, cry or shout.

"Hey! Saving you from the looney bin! You can't be mad." Amelia started to ramble. "Hopefully you have a brain tumor in your frontal lobe. Maybe you have a tumor on your amygdala and you are gonna go all Charles Whitman on us!" The doctor was now chuckling to herself.

"Charles who?" Sofia stared with a confused look on her face. Amelia took a wheelchair from the side of the room and helped Sofia into it. "Charles Whitman, shot a bunch of people, sorry probably a bad example..." Amelia's voice trailed off, "Anyway, I am going to give you a CT, hopefully get you out of Arkham Asylum!"

"How many nicknames do you have for the psych floor?" Sofia looked round as she was pushed into the elevator. She was greeted by the smiling face of her aunt Amelia. Amelia looked down at the teenagers wrists and her smile turned to a frown as she remembered the body on the bathroom floor.

"Please don't look at me like that." Sofia snapped, she turned back round to face the elevator doors. "Everyone keeps looking at me like that, like that pity me and are mad at me at the same time. I am sick of it."

Amelia felt herself getting angry, "If you don't want people to look at you like that, don't kill yourself next time someone leaves you alone."

Sofia brushed her hand against the bandages, "Or maybe I should just do it better next time." Amelia moved and stood in front of the girl. "What is that meant to mean?" She took the teens hands away from her wrists and placed them on the arm rests of the wheelchair. Amelia's voice got serious as she bobbed down so she was eye level with Sofia. "Don't say things like that, or I will leave you in the psych ward to rot. Okay?"


	11. Chapter 11

"Cal!" Arizona yelled up the stairs, "Cal! Do you think we should put a lock on the cutlery draw?" The dark haired doctor appeared on the landing with a confused look on her face. "What? Why?" Callie started to make her way down to the kitchen, following her wife.

"Well you know, with Sofia." Arizona didn't really know how to phrase this. Callie took out cleaning supplies from the cupboard. "You mean we should lock up the knives so our 17 year old daughter doesn't try to kill herself. Maybe we should make her room into a padded cell while we are at it! Really make her feel at home!" Callie was verging on shouting as she turned to go back up the stairs.

Arizona aggressively followed her wife upstairs, "Sorry, for trying to make our daughter safe!" They both stopped in their path as they looked at the closed bathroom door. They knew what it would look like, the paramedics had given them a card for a cleaning company who would clean for them, but they needed a bathroom. They were doctor's they knew they could handle a bit of blood.

"Calliope, maybe we should call those cleaners." Arizona's voice was almost a whisper as they just stared at the door. Callie shook her head, grabbed her wife's hand and started to slowly push open the door.

Almost the whole floor was painted crimson, it was an inhuman amount of blood. There was a bloody razor laid in the middle, and Amelia's handbag was still placed on the floor. It made Callie nauseous.

Callie suddenly let go of her wife's hand and ran across the pool of blood, leaving footprints as she went. She dropped to her knees in front of the toilet and started to vomit. The alternating sounds of her wife crying and throwing up were breaking Arizona's heart.

As Callie stood up, Arizona looked her up and down. Her hands and legs were covered in blood from leaning on the floor. Her eyes were puffy and her makeup was smudged. "Cal, go get yourself cleaned up. I'll take care of this." Arizona practically pushed Callie out the room. When the bathroom door was shut, Arizona started to clean up.

She picked up the razor and put it in to the bin, and started to scrub the floor. She could hear her wife's feet shuffling outside the door. "Arizona," A timid voice came from the hallway, "I think we should lock up the knives." Callie's voice croaked.

Arizona took a moment to assess the situation, she was knelt in a pool of her kids blood. She sighed, "Yeah, I think you're right."


	12. Chapter 12

"Okay, Sofia. You are going to need to stay very still." Amelia's voice played into the CT room as Sofia laid on the table.

"Fuck off Amelia, that's not funny." Sofia tried to lift her hand up to give the finger to Amelia through the glass but her hand was in restraints.

"Oh sorry, I forgot." Amelia sounded half sorry and half amused by her unintentional joke. Sofia scoffed, "Can you just take them off? Mer has left now, her and April the only one who thinks I am crazy. She's the one who tried to drown herself, no one put her in restraints. And April isn't exactly normal."

Amelia turned around in her chair and made an awkward face at Meredith and April who were stood behind her. They had never left. April looked back uncomfortably. Meredith leaned forward to speak into the mic, "Sofia, I am going to ignore what you just said because you have had a hard day. The reason you are in restraints is because if we don't find anything we will have to take you back up to psych and I don't want to have to fight you this time." Meredith's voice was calm yet sturn.

"Voy a matarte malditamente Mer. ¿Me atas, me hablas como si fuera un bebé? Espero tener un tumor cerebral para poder salir de la psych y darte una paliza. Voy a matarte, luego a mí mismo." Sofia was rambling to herself. If they knew what she was saying they would of probably locked her up in psych tumor or no tumor but the threats helped Sofia calm down.

Meredith glanced at her fellow doctors in the observation room, then leaned back into the mic, "I don't speak Spanish but I am going to pretend you just apologised to me."

"Erm," April's high pitched voice broke the tension, "I took a bit of Spanish in high school and I am pretty sure that 'matarte malditamente Mer' isn't an apology." April's broken Spanish accent made Amelia laugh. "What does it mean?" Amelia asked still chuckling.

"Matarte malditamente Mer, basically translates to," April tried to get the last bit out as quick as possible, slightly hoping Meredith didn't hear, "Kill you damn Mer."

Amelia couldn't hold her laughter in, Meredith didn't seem to get the same level of amusement from the threat on her life. Then the image came up on the monitor and silenced them all.

"It's beautiful." A smile appeared on Amelia's face. She knew this tumor could be deadly, but it was still beautiful. April took out her phone and dialled putting it to her ear. "Hey Arizona, you and Callie need to come in. There's been a development in Sofia's case." April's voice cracked.

Meredith walked out and into the CT room. She careful undid Sofia's restraints. Sofia lifted her head to look at Meredith, "I'm not going back to psych?" Sofia asked tentatively. Meredith held the teenagers hand, "No, you're not."


	13. Chapter 13

Amelia, April, Meredith and Sofia sat in the conference room. Two chairs empty next to Sofia. It had been an hour since April had called Callie and Arizona, they still hadn't showed up.

"I am sure they are on their way." Meredith tried to grab the attention of Sofia who was staring at the empty chairs. Sofia looked up angrly, "We live 10 minutes away, it has been two hours. They probably have something better to do. Can't you just tell me what you saw?"

"We should wait for your parents." April tried to remain professional as she talked to her niece. Sofia sighed.

There was another 10 minutes of awkward silence before a knock at the door broke the tension. Arizona and Callie walked in to the room. "I am so sorry we are late sweetie! Got called for a consultation on our way up." Arizona explained as she kissed Sofia's forehead.

Arizona and Callie sat down. Suddenly they realised the mood of the room as they read the expressions on their co-workers faces. "Why do you look like that? Is everything okay? Why isn't Sof in psych? Why are you here, Amelia? Come to yell at us again?" Callie spurted out questions faster than anyone could answer them.

Amelia spoke up, "First of all, I am sorry about that. I really am!" Arizona gave a slight nod of forgiveness as Amelia continued. "We gave Sofia a CT, just to be sure and we found this." Amelia slid over an image to Arizona and Callie.

Sofia was no doctor but that brain wasn't normal, before she could ask any questions her Mom spoke up. "Is that a Papillary Glioneuronal Tumor?" Sofia just heard the word tumor and felt her Mama pull her into a side hug as she looked up and whispered to herself, "Por favor, Dios proteja a mi niña. No la dejes sufrir. Dios, mi padre, te lo ruego."

Sofia looked at her Mama and back at the doctors sat across from her, "¿Por qué está rezando mi mamá? ¿Voy a morir? Si voy a morir, ¡tienes que decirmelo!"

The doctors looked helplessly at Arizona, "Sof, Cal. English would be helpful right now." Arizona had been in this family for 17 years and she still only knew how to say apples in Spanish.

Sofia grabbed the CT scan image. "Am I going to die?" Sofia's voice was harsh as she pointed aggressively at the tumor in her frontal lobe.

"A Papillary Glioneuronal tumor isn't normally deadly, Sof. We will do surgery to remove it. It is located in the frontal lobe which accounts for some of your recent personality changes. Trust me, I know how you are feeling right now." Amelia looked Sofia dead in the eyes, "You will be okay. I promise."


	14. Chapter 14

**2 weeks later**

"You're sure you got all of it?" Sofia looked up at Amelia from her hospital bed. The doctor had an arrogant grin on her face, "Are you doubting my skills?"

"Never!" Sofia held her hands up defensively with a gleaming smile on her face. Amelia sat down on the bed next to Sofia, "Seriously, I got it all. You will be back to doing whatever you teenagers like to do, not drugs though!" Amelia and Sofia let out a muffled laugh as they both received death stares from her moms.

"Don't worry!" Sofia looked up at her Mom who seemed concerned, "I am into writing fanfics now, less dangerous than drugs. Less expensive too." Amelia slapped the girl's arm gently, reminding her drug jokes probably wouldn't do well with this audience.

"Well! I am glad you are into writing fanfics now... Whatever they are." Callie looked happy but slightly confused as did her fellow adults. Amelia stood up and looked at Sofia's chart, "Even better news! You can take her home, you have the all clear!"

Arizona instinctively hugged Amelia, this was the second time she had saved someone for her. "Thank you so much, and you didn't leave this one blind." Arizona, Amelia and Callie laughed at the slighty inappropriate joke, while Sofia looked confused.

The next morning Sofia came out of her own bedroom for the first time in weeks, she went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. She found herself staring her scars. The scars which lined her wrists.

Tears formed in the girl's eyes. She wasn't meant to feel like this, the tumor was the problem. The tumor caused this and now it had gone the feeling should have gone too. However, it was still there. The emptiness, the apathy and the suicidal thoughts. They should have gone.

Sofia heard her Mom calling from downstairs, so she dried her eyes the best she could and went to the dining room.

She was greeted my her smiling parents and a stack of pancakes. Sofia wasn't hungry but she sat down anyway. Her Mama grabbed her hand, "Mi amor, ¿por qué te ves triste?"

"Mama, Mom. Amelia didn't get all the tumor." Sofia sat the table looking down at her feet. Her parents shared a puzzled look.

"Sofia, she got all the tumor. We checked and checked and checked again!" Callie chuckled as she stroked her daughter's face, "Stop worrying!"

Sofia pulled away from her Mama and slouched back in her chair. She began to shout and waved her arms, "Then she messed up the surgery, my brain is still wrong!"

Arizona looked between the two women she loved the most. Her wife looked as concerned as her and her daughter was acting insane. "Sof, calm down sweetie! Why do you think something is wrong?"

Sofia stood up and faced away from her moms, she sobbed the words that no parent wants to hear, "Because.. because I still want to die."


	15. Chapter 15

"I am telling you I got all of it!" Amelia was practically screaming at this point, "You have to believe me! Where is this coming from?"

"We are telling you," Callie's voice was stern as she gestured between herself and Arizona, "something is wrong!"

Amelia pointed at the CT and MRI pictures that lined the hospital wall, "And these are telling me everything is fine!"

"Then why does our daughter still want to die!" Arizona joined in the screaming. Amelia looked up and bit her bottom lift in disbelief. "Where... Where is she?" "Waiting outside."

Amelia swung open the door and saw Sofia sat on the corridor floor. Amelia slumped down next to her but the teenager didn't acknowledge her existence.

"Sof," Amelia grabbed Sofia's hand, "your scans are clear you know. So what your feeling is real, that wasn't the tumor." Amelia could see her words meant nothing to the teen. "When I was back in LA, I went crazy. I went back on drugs, I relapsed. I also had an undiagnosed tumor in my frontal lobe. I thought the drugs, the fact I craved them again was the tumor but when I woke up, when I recovered, I still wanted them." Amelia saw that Sofia was now looking at her in the eyes, "That problem, that part of me... Wasn't the tumor. I still have to go to AA. That's me. Your sadness, the drugs, the erm... cutting, the suicide attempt, that's not the tumor, that's you and you still need help." Amelia was tearing up as she pulled Sofia in for a hug.

"Amelia, I..." Sofia nuzzled into her auntie, "I'm scared."

"Thats okay, you're allowed to be scared. You have some of the the best parents I have ever seen. I mean they are arguing with a world class neurosurgeon for you, who does that? You need to talk to them, because you need amazing parents and you have two of them." Amelia patted the teenager on the back.

Sofia looked up at Amelia with a cheeky smile, "I don't need them, I have you." Amelia ruffled Sof's hair, "Yeah, well I am your friend. There's a difference."

Sofia pulled away from the doctor. Amelia stood up and put a hand out to Sofia and smiled, "Come on. Let's go talk to your moms." Sofia took Amelia's hand and stood up brushing herself off. "Okay, but try to not shout at them this time." Sofia smiled. Amelia looked back half serious, "You too." She started to push open the door. Sofia swallowed nervously, "Okay."


End file.
